Author: Moonling

In summer of 2012, Gregory had agreed to sit on an MSU grad student’s thesis panel. We took 12 days to take the 900+ mile route. We headed out in our Jetta TDI, making our first stops in the John Day Fossil Beds, Strawberry Lake (snowed in), Eagle Cap Wilderness, and Hell’s Canyon. This part of the trip was quite hot in June.  Most days, we used the Gazetteer to help us find a short hike along our route, usually just 3 miles or so and simply indicated by a tiny red dotted line on the map. I’m not really a “morning person” so I like to start the day slowly with a cup of coffee and a game (backgammon, at the time) so we usually didn’t hit the trailhead until late in the morning and it was HOT! Hence the photo of G washing up in a trough. We enjoyed nature’s bounty like the thimbleberries, seen here, but not so much the poison ivy that  we learned, after we had hiked out of Hell’s Canyon, we had likely brushed up against. We panicked! The ranger gave us Clorox wipes that were supposed to help. Luckily, we did not get the itch! After this, we wound our way up into Idaho and the Sawtooths. There was snow on the ground in one campsite and it was snowing at Banner Summit. One morning was so cold, we didn’t make our coffee until we drove into the sunshine to where we used the car hood for our table. Tina and Rohan told us about a fantastic hot spring next to an ice cold river and it was fantastic as seen by Gregory’s look of delight (or is that shock?) when he took the cold plunge after the hot soak. Jimmy Smith Lake was a surprise…very lush and secluded with lots of birds. We loved the quirky humor of the locals,  like the East Fork University sign, along the side roads we explored. My most memorable event happened as we were cutting into Montana on a forest road and emerged in the middle of a small cattle drive. We were surrounded by the action and got to watch real cowpersons (!) and dogs (!) working! When we reached Bozeman we hiked up to Hyalite Lake (r.t. 12 miles) with friends, including dear one-armed Larry. 

WHAT WOULD GREGORY DO?

He would fix things!

At our place:

1. Doorknobs that fell out in pieces;
2. Toilet fixtures that no longer functioned;
3. Electrical items that needed some tricky rewiring.

Unfortunately, Gregory can not fix the grief and sense of loss we feel at his untimely death.

Personally, I feel a loss at his passing in many small events that stick in memory:

1. His always interesting conversations, on topics ranging from the intricacies of how lasers functioned, to the mysteries of black holes, to the latest book he had been reading;
2. Finding Gregory already ensconced in our most comfortable chair when I woke up in the morning, reading that book;

3. Reading his emailed instructions and encouragement that yes, indeed, even a mechanical klutz like me could fix the leak in that toilet mechanism;

4. Watching him fix Betsie’s morning coffee with no visible sign of complaint;

But despite all the things Gregory could fix, he can not fix the sadness, sense of loss, and grief he left behind in those of us still here.

A thought I think is appropriate here was expressed by the artist, Pierre Auguste Renoir: “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”

And so for many of us the pain of his untimely death will pass, but the beauty of his memory will remain with us.

Finally, to paraphrase John Lennon: “Everything will be alright in the end …….. and if some things are not alright, it is not the end.”

Rob DeWreede, Betsie’s brother

My husband and I found out we were pregnant a month after we moved to Olympia.  We had moved 3 days drive from family to take a good job raising seeds for a local non-profit.  It was a big move, but it would give us the money we’d need to afford to have a family.

As time went by I became more pregnant and we started earnestly looking for a house- a place to raise a family.  What we fell in love with, a beautiful property at the base of the Black Hills, was a tear-down house, just west of Olympia.  We dove in, head over heels (assuming life would settle swiftly once we had a child), signing the papers on my daughters due date, just as I was about to burst.

When our daughter arrived, a few days later, we realized just how much we would need to do to move in, and time was of the essence, we could not pay rent and mortage for more than a month or two: the floor joists were rotten, as was the back wall, there was no place to bathe in the “bathroom,” the roof was leaky, there were layers of asbestos flooring under moldy carpet, the sink counters were full of mold, not to mention the need for a good coat of paint, and a way to heat the house.  It was going to be an undertaking!  Sierra had a volunteer crew that showed up to help with native prairie plants at his workplace, and that is how we met Betsie and Gregory.

When they heard we had found a house and were planning to move in asap, they offered to come “help.”  After that first Saturday, they came back again the next day, the next weekend and nearly every weekend after that for nearly two months.  Betsie would hold the baby (Gwynnevere is now 12) while I scrubbed and painted.  Gregory helped tear out the sink and replace the pipes, “Oh we can figure that out,” was a common refrain as he talked my husband through project after project.  Sometime the second month I was staring exhausted at the back wall, Gregory came up and said “What still needs to be done?”  I pointed at the hole in the wall where the window had been.  Gregory said “Well I’m no carpenter, but I can help out.” and he proceeded to frame in a new window, right there on the spot.

It was as if we had won the jackpot-not our house, but these two amazing individuals (angels, really) were determined to help us feel loved and a valuable part of the community, worth investing into.  It was such a special feeling, the way they worked together, chided each other, and helped the rest of us get through tough times.

I remember after we settled into our house and life with baby, a work colleague had a baby.  I remember how much I felt ease in offering help to her–it was as if Gregory and Betsie had filled us up with so much love, we had abundant cups, ready to share.

We are so indebted to you both!  Gregory certainly lives on in our lives-when we open the windows, & turn on the tap or use the old table saw he gifted us, it’s as if he’s here again smiling “it’ll be ok….”

Eowyn Smith